Passing the Baton

Montana Reunion 2023

Family from Oregon, Texas and California converge to celebrate a beloved member’s 70^th birthday at a spectacular 40-acre, four-bedroom plus two-bedroom cottage home in White Fish, Montana. Every minute bustling, joyous, energy drink-and a few bottles of tequila zany—MAGIC! There was bean bag-tossing, lassoing, baby motorcycle-riding, marshmallow-making, giant breakfast-scarfing, hot tubbing, eating and more eating, river rafting, four-by-four touring, Glacier National Park hiking, campfire-chatting, hail storm dodging, local restaurant-dining and wondering why we all waited so long to get together for a destination vacation clan reunion.

Like a lot of families who put get-togethers on the “one day” list, we needed an excuse: The birthday of an angel, loved by all, wouldn’t hurt a soul, puts others’ interests before her own, our one and only Bevie. In the last decade, she’s gone through monumental challenges, yet it hasn’t impacted her positive, looking-forward attitude. Turns out, I’m not alone in affirming that she’s been the entire clan’s patient teacher, lifelong mentor and sounding board, everyone’s amigo. Past, present and future, our forever friend.

And here we are in Big Sky Country, counting our blessings at a retreat as glorious as the woman of the hour. First, I must share the setting: Back Forty Lodge https://www.backfortylodge.com/: forty acres of pine, cedar, and birch trees. At night, the grounds are a’glow with miniature lights-flocked trees defined by a garland of  Edison lights, full moon and roaring campfire. The house itself is ultrachic modern with all the amenities guests  could only dream of: high end range, gigantic fridge, two dishwashers, four trash receptacles, the most beautiful organized cupboards you’ve ever seen, two massive, tastefully designed  living rooms and a view of pond-bathing bears and deer. From the top balcony you can hang out near the firepit, enjoy dinner, a glass of wine while watching six cousins have a blast on the expansive grassy knoll backyard. If you wish to find quiet, there’s quiet. If you wish to socialize, there are so many possibilities for congregating and having small and large conversations; it’s the perfect setting for both the extrovert and introvert. 

Can you tell I LOVE the place? Really, there was no reason to leave and explore, but we did. 

Although the river is low due to Montana’s unprecedented drought, there were still opportunities to enjoy a bit of white-water action that our group of 19 thoroughly enjoyed. Some members of the family were brave and 90-degree temps-hot enough to jump into the glacier-cooled river. What a memory! As for me, I got my feet wet knowing it would be way too embarrassing to be hauled into the raft like a giant tuna.

So many best moments of the trip to reflect upon: the night we sang happy birthday to my cousin, the birthday girl, and how she was overcome with tears of joy; the reading of everyone’s contributions to a chat book I put together at the last minute thanks to family member’s contributions. The project was an excuse, just like the trip, to let this precious woman know how much she is adored.

For half of the family the adventure continues to other parts of Montana and Wyoming. And the other half of the tribe, we fly or drive home with full hearts that we made the time and effort to be together, to celebrate this chapter of our lives, as the once young grows old, and the baton of love is passed on to the next generation. 

Sitting on the crest of tomorrow, as eight red, yellow and red white sabots skate across the glossy sea, I am reminded, once again, of how quickly life is passing. Here today, gone tomorrow, my parents often said to us kids. Now a member of Crepe-y Knees Jiggly Double Chin Club, their words ring true: One day you’re 33 with two children and one on the way, the next you’re 67 with four grandchildren and another on his way in December. My hope, like my parents’, is that the little kids and their parents will love and support each other as much as my cousin and sister and I have had the privilege to do our entire lives.

Legacy. It’s what we talk about as we sit on the balcony, saluting the sunset, hoping—praying—-that our love will be their love. Were or are we perfect? Not even close. But our love is pure. Not to be questioned. Diminished. By age, ego, squabbles, misunderstandings that, in the scheme of things, don’t matter a squat.

Reunions remind us that all the junk and nonsense that can clog up a life are a waste of time. Love matters. Forgiveness. And an open heart.