The challenge of change

Change is hard. That’s got to be the understatement of the century, right? I’d much rather tool along and not rock the boat, stay in my robe, look at online “news” outlets, become obsessed with the latest consuming topic, and drink a third cup of coffee than do the thing I really need to do, and that is soulful, deep tissue change. I can rearrange my bedroom, change my hair color, experiment with healthy muffin recipes, window shop Amazon, rather than really sink in and get to what needs a’getting to and that is bonafide growth.

Here’s where you come in, my status: This blog is my confidante, my therapist, my life coach prompting me to become, once again, a risk-taker, an agent of change. I’m more likely to press forward if I make a public proclamation: “I am an adolescent: Change is my middle name.”

So what exactly do I need to change?

My attitude.

My actions.

My heart.

The truth is I’ve been in that old fogey fear funk for far too long. I’ve given in to giving up.

But inside, behind my squinty eyes, is an impish elf of a woman. Playful. Not serious. Daring, not dreadful. Knowing and wise, for you see, I know what I want. I can visualize the life I imagine: No debt. Money in the bank. Healthy choices. Time for family. Time for career. Time for me.

Time for me, my decades old challenge. Setting aside time every day to exercise, meditate, create—rejuvenate. Time to discover, remind and reflect.

Take today, for example. I did all the cleaning, organizing, grading student work, before I sat down to write. It’s an old, old habit; others before self. I watched my mother throughout her entire life give to others before pleasing herself. The only “treat” she afforded herself were cigarettes, which she enjoyed secretly. Ultimately, her sad, bad habit led to her horrific and early death from emphysema. While I’m far less self-sacrificing than she was, like her I typically take the back seat when it comes to others’ needs. Not a bad quality as long as it doesn’t negatively impact my bank account and health, which it has.

Knowledge is power. So here’s what I need to do: Learn to say “Yes,” when it’s healthy and “No” when it’s not. Simple, right? Yes, actually it is, if I take a breath—breathe Izzy, breathe—and think about the consequences of my actions. Obviously, this is the key to balance and all forms of health. Lots of people have figured this out. Why not me?

But I’m on the journey. My challenge this week is to practice making healthy choices. Here’s my plan:

1. Journal and/or blog several times this week
2. Set daily goals that extend beyond career and household duties
3. Walk five times this week
4. Eat more veggies
5. Get out my paints and canvas and create
6. Listen to more music
7. Say “Yes” to something new
8. Say “No” to something harmful

These positive choices will help me achieve future goals: My retirement plan is to work three more years, save $$$, shed pounds, debt, be on the hunt for a reliable, fuel efficient Class B RV and travel the United States. Downsize. Share.  Learn new things. Be kind to self and others.

I don’t want to leave our great Planet Earth without figuring this out, without enjoying the benefits of conscious choice.

Life IZ too good not to seize the day and make decisions that will help me live the life of my dreams. I’m a strong person. I can make this happen.

Change is hard. But look at the consequences if I don’t seize the day. Life will take me where I need to be if I don’t get a clue and grab the driver’s seat while I can.

I am grateful to be aware. I know what I need to do. Now, as the Nike commercial says, just do it.