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The Gift of Change
My new, next life begins today.
I’m sitting at the edge of San Simeon Creek alongside the best campsite I have ever had watching the ducks and native birds enjoy the early evening sun. I am in my happy place. Another happy place.
I left Happy Place No. 1 today—today. The Portofino Apartments. I had hoped to take-in the view, relax, swim, but nooooooooo, I had accumulated so much stuff over the last eight months it took me from morning to evening to sort out, discard, trash and donate. I had my morning coffee, with my amigo, Bevie, this morning, but there was much still to be done before handing over my key card and parking pass at 9:30 a.m. to Cody, the apartment manager.
It’s been a true gift staying at the Portofino. The view. The kind neighbors. The endearing staff. It was just what the doctor ordered when we arrived in January during the Winter’s rain, post Katie and the g-kid’s August visit when we Disneyland-ed and prepared for the tropical storm of the century. While the apartment’s accommodations were 1980s-dated that view. That view. Honestly, if the rent wasn’t so high, I probably could live there forever.
But that’s what I say about everything and everyone I fall in love with.
Like this place, Cambria. The breeze. The creek views. My veggies cooking in the air fryer in my new-to-me camper van. A fresh start in a place I am oh-so familiar with. My heart spot.
On this today-launched, two-month sojourn, my goals are simple, yet mighty. I want to relax. Truly relax my spirit. I want to re-connect with Nature, my soul—God. I want to awaken my senses to the wind, the stars, Nature’s soothing melodies and rejuvenating perfume.
Also, very important, over the last couple of months I allowed myself to get off-track foodwise; I intend to return to more mindful eating and drinking.
No more blanking out, covering up and avoiding, just me, myself and I enjoying all things creative; my writing, art, dancing and listening.
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Day Two of My Transformation/Discovery Tour 2023
After leaving Cambria I decided to pick up a wine shipment at Brecon Winery along Vineyard Drive. Twist my arm, right? The wines were lovely, but even more so Frank, the server who’s been there for three years, about as long as my club membership. His enthusiasm and knowledge of product was infectious. My favorite wine was, naturally, the most expensive, a beautiful reserve Cabernet Sauvignon—eyes roll back kind of wine. I am not sure I have the will power to save it to share with my amigos, but I’ll do my best.
I do miss them. I wish they had the freedom to join me on what I hoped would be our shared quest to lavish in retirement. Maybe one day. As for now, I enjoy the quietude and return to embracing myself.
My older daughter asked me a few weeks ago if I’d ever want to date? Sometimes I think about it. But mostly now I just want to date myself. I want to discover that little girl who never quite ventured beyond the boundaries of her beloved Spreckles Lane playhouse.
“There is that in me, I do not know what it is, but I know it is in me,” penned Walt Whitman.
This thing I long to know, and when I do, hold on to it for the rest of my days. Feeling at peace. Making plans, but not too many. Talking to people, but not every moment. Taking a nap. Going for a walk. Stretching. Falling asleep to the roar of thunder and rain with a giant grin on my face.
That was me last night at my Harvest Host stopover, Locatelli Winery in San Miguel. Except for one other camper who parked far away from me, I had the whole winery to myself. It’s a pretty good gig. For $99 a year, you can stay at wineries, farms, museums, and other locations overnight. While it’s not required, it’s inferred you buy something from their business. Not a problem! I purchased a lovely rose which was perfect with my simple meal of veggies, hummus, and savory tofu. What a night! I savored “Demon Copperhead”, one of the best books I’ve read in a long time, watched a little TV, (don’t judge me, “Virgin River”) and tried to ignore how hot it was.
Right now, after showering and enjoying my breakfast smoothie—kale, yogurt, blueberries, and a touch of honey—I’m enjoying the silence of this place. I leave in about 15 minutes to do some errands before lunching with my friend, Julie, so I’m trying to soak it all in. My new beginning.
Will I look different when I return? Will my family see it on my face? In my gait? Will my voice be more measured, calm?
Be ye transformed.
After two days on the road, the cocoon is starting to crack as I awaken the dormant, winged creature I once met in a dream.
LifeIZGood.com 
Here’s the line that grabbed me! “….mostly now I just want to date myself!” Sounds like a great plan of action. Isn’t it strange how much we women get told we’re supposed to take care of everyone else–get to know everyone else–make everyone else happy or at least bearable! Kudos for your determination to honor yourself! Cheers!!! 🙂
Elouise
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